So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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