But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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