Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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