haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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