This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
