i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
