I just threw up on my dentist
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize