so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
