So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
