I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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