He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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