she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
