my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
