how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
