I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
me + whiskey = a bad person
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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