I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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