i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize