i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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