It's like a parade of train wrecks.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
