I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Randomize
