thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
