how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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