I'm going to jail i love you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
