So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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