i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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