coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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