No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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