so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
