I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
