Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
