Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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