My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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