help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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