I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
