Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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