I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
too bad you live with your parents still
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just had sex bonerless
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A bitchslap is in order.
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