i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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