why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
