im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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