At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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