Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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