They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
