On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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