nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
