He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
