the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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