dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
