Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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