I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
