yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
