big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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