Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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