I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
