so explain again why im purple
no
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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