everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
two words...techno handjob
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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