I want to have your abortion
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i came on her dog
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
