it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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