At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
