Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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