I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
