can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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